The Musings of a Woman Behind Bars.....

I have no idea what I'm doing half the time. Just want to be clear on that. But there are a few indisputable things I've learned that I'd like to share.

The power of toast is greatly underrated.
Your bed is the most accurate psychologist you'll ever have.
And finally... well let's leave that for another time.

I've actually spent way too much time developing an entire "theory of life" around those, one that explains everything except how one fabric softener sheet can sashay around inside the dryer and get every little inch of laundry soft. Just one. WTF? But those deep thoughts are explained elsewhere on the web in random musings I scatter about on other blogs like a cheap, shameless cyber-lawn sprinkler.

"Impossible," you say. "Those indisputable things explain nothing."

Whatever. I bet you're the person who likes to party with the fifth dentist who was overthinking the whole Trident recommendation. So let me assure you, the mysterious third Great Thought explains a lot. Really pulls the whole thing together.

For now, here are some links and 'net finds that I hope will entertain you as they have me. The purpose of this particular blog of mine is simply to serve as an online trough for links people are always asking me to give them. Again. And "once more, please. "

So here you go people. I hope you are able to waste as much time with these as I have.

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    Colonel Sanders, Report to the Front Line....

    ....an abridged history of American-centric war, from World War II to present day, told through the foods of the countries in conflict.






    Watch as traditional comestibles slug it out for world domination in this chronologically re-enacted smorgasbord of aggression.

    Spoiler Alert! Check out the links below AFTER you watch the video!
    Breakdown of the Foodstuffs Used/Countries They Represent
    Breakdown to Battles Portrayed

    Hi Neighbor! May I borrow a pint of Guinness?

    If your level of sobriety and sense of adventure compel you to go beyond simply boiling some spuds this Paddy's Day, there are some eclectic options on this site. A few examples...

    Chocolate Guinness Cupcakes
    Guinness German Potato Salad
    Guinness Milk Chocolate Ice Cream
    Irish Cheddar and Stout Fondue

    Link

    Best Time to Buy Anything


    Get the best deals on everything from airline tickets to a car. It's all in your timing.
    ~ Men's Wealth at menshealth.com

    While the title is a bit misleading (it's a very short list so if your idea of "Anything" is 6 things....), it still has some useful "tidbits." Like:

    What: Airline tickets
    When: 1 a.m. on Wednesday
    Why: This is the best time to find a deal because airlines reset their fares every Wednesday just after midnight, says Peter Greenberg, Men's Health Travel Detective.

    Link

    18 Tricks to Teach Your Body

    The writers at Men's Health have come up with a dandy little list of body tricks you can actually use.


    Yes, yes, we'd ALL like to figure out how to balance on one hand during keg stands but come on, how often do you actually USE that skill? Twice a year? Instead, try this practical sample of manly wisdom:

    If your throat tickles, scratch your ear!


    "When you were 9, playing your armpit was a cool trick. Now, as an adult, you can still appreciate a good body-based feat, especially if it serves as a health remedy. Take that tickle in your throat; it's not worth gagging over. Here's a better way to scratch your itch: "When the nerves in the ear are stimulated, it creates a reflex in the throat that can cause a muscle spasm," says Scott Schaffer, M.D., president of an ear, nose, and throat specialty center in Gibbsboro, New Jersey. "This spasm relieves the tickle."

    So, uh, does it work for girls too? lol

    Link

    Love's Not All You Need..


    A Psychology Today article explaining how it takes more than the "L" word to make a relationship work.

    On a sidenote, I just ran across a great quote that struck a chord on the subject:

    "I need someone who believes that the sun will rise again, but who does not fear my darkness. Someone who can point out the rocks in my way without making me a child by carrying me. Someone who can stand in thunder and watch the lightning and believe in a rainbow." ~Fr. Joe Mahoney

    I'm not going to comment on the fact the comment was made by a priest. lol.

    Link

    Would you hit that?

    Spanking Messes Up Sex Lives, Author Says -WISN Milwaukee

    Screwed up sex life? Blame your parents.

    Professor Murray Straus concluded that children who are spanked are more likely as adults to coerce partners to have sex, to have unprotected sex and to have masochistic sex.

    Link

    And Therapy for All....

    Psychology Today: Rock Around the Doc: Metallica in Therapy

    What's a band to do when they just feel a bit lost, like they aren't seeing one another for who they REALLY are anymore? Why, hit the couch of course. Sorry groupies, wait outside.
    Let me say for the record that I sincerely applaud Metallica for not only their decision to seek help but, even more courageous, to go public with it to help others. With that said, I really just can't help laughing my arse off at quotes like these... Just waiting to turn on Oprah and watch them passing tissue boxes around. It just feels so.... 'This is Spinal Tap'.

    Lars: "...it happened so naturally. Phil opened that door. It was amazing to sit there with people who you'd spent over half your life with and get to know them for the first time, get to love them for the first time."

    James: "I know that we created some type of spark with our negative energy, and I know we can do the same with our positive energy. We've used a lot of energy going nowhere. But as far as losing my edge, I feel I'm sharper than ever."

    Link

    It's Harder Than It Looks


    Psychology Today: Intimacy: The Art of Relationships
    Definitely a worthwhile read... here's a brief excerpt from the intro:

    "...most of what goes wrong in a relationship stems from hurt feelings. The disappointment couples experience is based on misunderstanding and misperception. We choose a partner hoping for a source of affection, love, and support, and, more than ever, a best friend. Finding such a partner is a wonderful and ecstatic experience--the stage of illusion in relationships, it has been called.
    ...there then sets in the state of disillusion. We somehow don't get all that we had hoped for. He didn't do it just right. She didn't welcome you home; she was too busy with something else; maybe she didn't even look up. But we don't have the skills to work out the disappointments that occur. The disappointments big and little then determine the future course of the relationship."

    Link

    Play Nice, Kids...


    Psychology Today: Relationship Rules
    The author suggests printing these out and keeping them on your refrigerator as a reminder. After reading through them, I must say I'd agree. A few favorites:

    * Know your needs and speak up for them clearly. A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people, men as well as women, fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unstated) needs. Closeness cannot occur without honesty. Your partner is not a mind reader.
    * View yourselves as a team, which means you are two unique individuals bringing different perspectives and strengths. That is the value of a team--your differences.
    * Know how to manage differences; it's the key to success in a relationship. Disagreements don't sink relationships. Name-calling does. Learn how to handle the negative feelings that are the unavoidable byproduct of the differences between two people. Stonewalling or avoiding conflicts is NOT managing them.

    Link

    Come stalk me on ThisNext if you're bored. TatorandTots on ThisNext

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    Stuck in Customs HDR Photography Blog {Trey Ratcliff}

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    Quotes

    Quotes
    "It's better to die standing than live on your knees."
    Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
    Not all who wander are lost.
    Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set!
    Talk only if you can improve on the silence.
    Women fly when men aren’t watching.
    Little piece of advice. Your honker's cute in person. Peephole? Not your friend.
    I'm sorry, did I interupt you eating your baby?
    I'm allergic to felt.
    While you're at it, why don't you become a superhero? Captain Neck Fat.
    Take a SWAG at it- Scientific Wild-Ass Guess.....
    I didn't see anything but the Tweetie Bird on his ass.....
    Oh my God. It's finally happened. The Botox has seeped into your brain.
    Follow the bread crumbs, Gretel.
    First I was victimized by a grizzly. And now you.
    This is even more disturbing than your bag full of Mommy.
    Always be sure they have their meds before you do anything else.
    It takes a dark night to bring out the stars.
    "If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than it was because he was he and I was I." Michel Montaigne
    I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way-- things I had no words for". -Georgia O'Keeffe
    The mind is like a parachute -it works best when it is open.
    "None. None more black...."
    If we only used things for their intended purpose, we would not be where we are today.
    I knew it was too bad to be true....
    "--Love doesn't end because we no longer see each other. People go on all their lives loving God, don't they, without ever seeing Him.
    --That's not my kind of love.
    --Maybe there's no other kind."
    --I'm jealous of everything that moves. I'm jealous of the rain. "The End of the Affair"
    A hero ain't nothing but a sandwich.

    Where are they from? God only knows. Randomly overheard, uttered by clever (and often inebriated) friends, my own lacking-7 second-delay mouth, Scrubs, Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, Monty Python.... pretty much a hodgepodge.

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    A cool Halloween theme for a bloody good time.

    See more of my How to Host a "Dexter" Party list at ThisNext.

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