Psychology Today: Relationship Rules
The author suggests printing these out and keeping them on your refrigerator as a reminder. After reading through them, I must say I'd agree. A few favorites:
* Know your needs and speak up for them clearly. A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people, men as well as women, fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unstated) needs. Closeness cannot occur without honesty. Your partner is not a mind reader.
* View yourselves as a team, which means you are two unique individuals bringing different perspectives and strengths. That is the value of a team--your differences.
* Know how to manage differences; it's the key to success in a relationship. Disagreements don't sink relationships. Name-calling does. Learn how to handle the negative feelings that are the unavoidable byproduct of the differences between two people. Stonewalling or avoiding conflicts is NOT managing them.
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6 years ago