The Lush Life: 2/10/08

The Musings of a Woman Behind Bars.....

I have no idea what I'm doing half the time. Just want to be clear on that. But there are a few indisputable things I've learned that I'd like to share.

The power of toast is greatly underrated.
Your bed is the most accurate psychologist you'll ever have.
And finally... well let's leave that for another time.

I've actually spent way too much time developing an entire "theory of life" around those, one that explains everything except how one fabric softener sheet can sashay around inside the dryer and get every little inch of laundry soft. Just one. WTF? But those deep thoughts are explained elsewhere on the web in random musings I scatter about on other blogs like a cheap, shameless cyber-lawn sprinkler.

"Impossible," you say. "Those indisputable things explain nothing."

Whatever. I bet you're the person who likes to party with the fifth dentist who was overthinking the whole Trident recommendation. So let me assure you, the mysterious third Great Thought explains a lot. Really pulls the whole thing together.

For now, here are some links and 'net finds that I hope will entertain you as they have me. The purpose of this particular blog of mine is simply to serve as an online trough for links people are always asking me to give them. Again. And "once more, please. "

So here you go people. I hope you are able to waste as much time with these as I have.

Assmosis: It's Contagious

Workplace Vocabulary

Funny stuff. A few examples...
TESTICULATING: Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks."
ASSMOSIS: The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)

Link

Between a Rock and a House/Place

Strange Houses On Unusual Places

Great photo blog. This particular collection features, as the name indicates, houses in amazing locations.
Link

Also be sure to check out the link for "Horses with No Name."
Link

KnickerPicker - The Online Dressing Room

Oh... ummm...uhh... I guess boys can use it too...

Marie Claire's pick as their "favourite new website."
"In an online first, you can pick the model which looks most like you, pick the underwear you like the most and then your model will try it on for you, strut up and down the catwalk so you can see the knickers from both the front and back. What's more, there's free delivery on all orders and brands on offer include Calvin Klein, Damaris and Princess Tam Tam.For the men in your life, there's also a boys' buying guide. Why not send him the link?"

Link

The 25 Most Baffling Toys From Around the World

So how excited am I to finally be a trendsetter? Very. Long before this list was published, I already had Poo and Pee sitting on my desk in prep for my son's potty training adventures. It's hard to believe I am, indeed, that cool. So I posted a photo above to prove it. So there.

Also filed in the WTF? folder? The teddy bear gun (yep, fires bears at kids) and the sled. Yes, it is a sled. For children. Baffling, eh?

Link

The World's Cheesiest Love Song Playlist

"What are the World's Cheesiest Love Songs?

Hmmm... Well, it's a matter of debate, but this playlist is at the very least a great start in getting to the bottom of it. A fine collection of gooey, bowel-clogging slag that can provide the foundation for your own personal love fondue.

There have been more cheesy love songs written than most would ever care to hear, but don't fret. We've filtered out anything with even the tiniest amount of artistic credibility to help create the ultimate in love song trumpery. Only the most sappy, overproduced, pop hit fromage has been included.
This playlist works it two diametrically opposed manners. The first is as a group of emotionally charged tear-jerkers that will truly appeal to some percentage of the population. You know the type. These are the people that will be the first to die in the initial chaos that ensues when Armageddon unfolds.
The second is as a satirical look into the very worst of pop music that will make being alone on Valentine's day seem like the better choice.
I have not ordered the list as many of these songs are true equals in their woe."

I think I'll let their description speak for itself.

Link

From Mind to Hand: Hidden Knowledge Revealed and Enhanced By Gesture

"We often assume that true understanding is conveyed through spoken speech rather than gesture, but new research shows that "talking with your hands" can not only reveal different information than spoken language, it can be both more correct and yield better learning."

Link

Caffeine: A User's Guide to Getting Optimally Wired

Caffeine is the most widely used stimulant in the world, but few use it to maximal advantage. Get optimally wired with these tips.

Definitely one of the more useful articles I've read on how to show the Joe who's boss and make it really work for you. To get you started, here's your first hit:

1) Consume in small, frequent amounts.
Between 20-200mg per hour may be an optimal dose for cognitive function.
Caffeine crosses the blood-brain barrier quickly (owing to its lipid solubility) although it can take up to 45 minutes for full ingestion through the gastro-intestinal tract. Under normal conditions, this remains stable for around 1 hour before gradually clearing in the following 3-4 hours (depending on a variety of factors).

Link

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Not all who wander are lost.
Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set!
Talk only if you can improve on the silence.
Women fly when men aren’t watching.
Little piece of advice. Your honker's cute in person. Peephole? Not your friend.
I'm sorry, did I interupt you eating your baby?
I'm allergic to felt.
While you're at it, why don't you become a superhero? Captain Neck Fat.
Take a SWAG at it- Scientific Wild-Ass Guess.....
I didn't see anything but the Tweetie Bird on his ass.....
Oh my God. It's finally happened. The Botox has seeped into your brain.
Follow the bread crumbs, Gretel.
First I was victimized by a grizzly. And now you.
This is even more disturbing than your bag full of Mommy.
Always be sure they have their meds before you do anything else.
It takes a dark night to bring out the stars.
"If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than it was because he was he and I was I." Michel Montaigne
I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way-- things I had no words for". -Georgia O'Keeffe
The mind is like a parachute -it works best when it is open.
"None. None more black...."
If we only used things for their intended purpose, we would not be where we are today.
I knew it was too bad to be true....
"--Love doesn't end because we no longer see each other. People go on all their lives loving God, don't they, without ever seeing Him.
--That's not my kind of love.
--Maybe there's no other kind."
--I'm jealous of everything that moves. I'm jealous of the rain. "The End of the Affair"
A hero ain't nothing but a sandwich.

Where are they from? God only knows. Randomly overheard, uttered by clever (and often inebriated) friends, my own lacking-7 second-delay mouth, Scrubs, Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy, Monty Python.... pretty much a hodgepodge.